Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Baby Bug


Too cute to be true
Originally uploaded by Haaf
I love babies. LOVE them. I've always... always been told I'd be a good mom (that's what happens when you're already practically mothering your siblings from middle-school on). Isaac and I both are from big families.

So... people just acted like it was inevitable. We'd get married and join the masses of seminary students that are dirt poor and still having children. We know a couple that got married the same day we did, and they have two kids already.

But we weren't ready. We've been moving, planning, trying to survive financially. Isaac semi-freaked out at the mere thought of having children, and teased me mercilessly if I cooed over a little one. This summer we will have been married for four years - and we really didn't seriously discuss having children yet. I started babysitting and working at the church nursery, partly because I love babies and partly to get my baby fix so that I could walk away and be happy to be a young couple!

IT'S NOT WORKING.

haha...

I mean that quite seriously. When I babysit little Lillian, or when I hold baby (even a crying one) in the nursery, that mothering instinct comes out LOUD AND PROUD. And something in me says - I WANT ONE.

But you know what - I'm used to attempting to smother that instinct. And ... while I am an emotional woman, I'm also VERY practical, and I rarely make a decision without being overly rational and taking my time.

It was ISAAC that caved to the cravings and first mentioned having kids. Last week. While we were babysitting. And the conversation quickly degenerated from - "yeah, it'll be great to do this one day" to him somewhat insistently saying, "Lets do this NOW."

I shouldn't have been surprised because he always uses teasing to cover up his own tracks, but I was. So yeah - we have the baby bug.

However, I think my rationalization and his desire to finish his ThM program have convinced him that maybe the answer to the question "when should we have kids" isn't "immediately!". It is a little scary just to have acknowledged that we both have been bitten by the baby bug. The conversation distinctly reminded me of the first time our dating conversations changed from "what if one day we got married?" to... "when do you think we'll get married?". Because ... it was only a month after that conversation that Isaac proposed. And we got married in six months.

SCARY.

But we're not ready yet...

Right?

Cute baby face

*in total seriousness, I really wouldn't expect us to have kids any time soon. As the oldest of six kids, I'm perhaps too aware of how much responsibility kids are. I want us to be really and truly ready for that responsibility, not just craving a mini-me. :)*

4 comments:

junglewife said...

Well, I am sure you will have people tell you "You will NEVER be REALLY ready." And... it's true. But there's a difference between just running out and trying to get pregnant just because babies look so darn cute, and actually realizing how much responsibility you're in for.

We were the same way! I was working, putting Dan through school, and neither of us really wanted kids although we knew that if I did get pregnant, we would survive. AND we wanted to wait until the time was right. And as we had been married longer and longer, I was the one who wanted kids more than Dan did. And I was NOT going to be one of those wives who "oopsed" her hubby!!! Well, it was a matter of just a couple months, and Dan's tune changed from "I guess maybe we'll have kids someday" to "Why don't we have kids already?!?" I think a lot of it was that he met a little 2 year old girl who just knocked his socks off, and he wanted one too!!! And now we have two of them.

Oh, and we were married 5 1/2 years when Natalie was born :-)

Sarah Eliza said...

Awwwww I understand what you're feeling, even though I'm probably even further away from it then you are... And I think you managed to find the cutest baby pictures ever. :P I'm excited for y'all as you're starting to think through all this...!

Lauren said...

N and I are the same way! Of course, we've only been married about 2 1/2 years, and we know now isn't the right time, but oh, I want a squishy-cheek baby. We know you are never truly "ready" but we want to be in a stable finacial situation because kids are a huge responsiblity that should not be lightly considered. It's harder the older I get too - I'll be 30 next year! I want kids while my body can still handle the strain, lol. ~ L

MatthewS said...

Not trying to intrude. We've sort of "met" each other on JesusCreed. If I could -

You will grow into it as they grow. I would be in the "You'll never be ready" camp. We have only one and he is probably a miracle. Wish we could have more. It's a good life, raising someone to care for others and gently helping them love God. You will learn so much about yourself and have so much fun seeing how this little stinker is so much an individual and yet so much like both of you. It's a big resonsibility and requires a new set of priorities for sure. My point is just that they will grow step by step and so will you. You won't have to do it all in one leap.