Monday, August 24, 2009

Things you can buy from an in-flight magazine

I just had to share this with you all. The American Airlines SkyMall magazine was so full of absolutely amazing things that Isaac and I probably spent a good 3o minutes looking over it together. I only wish I could show you the pictures.

Here's just a few:

- The "Keep Your Distance" Bug Vacuum: This is actually pretty ingenious. It's a vacuum with a long handle so you can stick the vacuum up by a bug sitting on your wall and dispose of it without you having to touch or get near the little bugger. (cost - $50).

- Pet Ramp/Staircase: This is essentially a staircase for dogs, so Spotty can walk up to the couch or bed and avoid straining himself by (heaven forbid) having to jump those two feet. This can be converted to a ramp or staircase or be stored flat. Oh, and you'll pay up to $200 for it.

- Shape-Up Pads: Yes, you too can buy silicone fake butt pads (sexy curves instantly!) for only $20 per set! (stay put even when dancing or exercising!).

-The Shirtpocket Underwater Camcorder: Maybe it's just me, but who wears a shirt underwater? Particularly a shirt with a pocket?! However, I'm sure this fits the exact need of someone, and they'll also pay $200.

- The Indoor Dog Restroom: this is basically a mat that sits on top of a plastic insert so that the dog can pee on the mat (which "gives off an organic scent to attract dogs), and you can dump it out easily. Okay, to me, this seems like total lunacy. Why would you ever teach your dog that it's OKAY to pee on a mat?

- Insect Repellent Hat: Translation - ugly fishing hat with chemicals in it. Will not cover the rest of you, and really, how often does our hair and head get bitten? ($80)

- Always Fresh Pet Drinking Fountain: Clearly flight passengers love dogs. This is basically a fountain with a filter. You know what I think? Might as well pull up the stopper in your toilet - that's fresh running water too. Oh, and it comes in two versions, feline and canine. What?

- The Configurable Pet Gate: This is basically a baby gate with narrower bars. In my opinion, another option is a LOCKED DOOR.

- Closet Organizing Trouser Rack: Isaac and I had an argument about this one, because it's sort of a spiral trouser rack that holds up to 20 pairs of pants. I thought it looked nice, and Isaac looked at the photo in shock. "Who has that many pairs of pants??!". I told him that most American men probably do, and he is still in utter disbelief. "What do they use that many pants for?!" This is the man that usually has about four pairs of pants at a time. He wears through them and then buys the exact same pair again from Target.

- Voice Activated R2 D2: Um yeah I'm not kidding. He can't actually DO anything except play little voice games, but he may be a good party toy for Trekkies. That is, if you want to spend $170 on a party toy).

- Lawn aerator sandals: Otherwise known as flip flops with 1/2 in. steel spikes in them. Hey, it might take longer, but heels ultimately have the same effect!


Lauren said...

Is that the Sky-Mall catalog? I love that catalog. It's full of things you never knew you couldn't live without! Actually, my dad isn't allowed to read it anymore because he keeps buying gadgets from it, lol. Drives my step-mom crazy! ~ L

thegypsymama said...

Dude, you are FUH-NY! I will never read the inflight mag quite the same again!

Kelley said...

Nate's obsessed with the marshmellow shooting gun. He wants to buy it for my dad for father's day.

Sarah Eliza @ devastateboredom said...

Those are AWESOME and hilarious. My favorites for sheer lunacy are the indoor dog bathroom and the butt pads. I would kind of like one of those bug vaccuums though...

One note though. The word "trekkie" refers to Star Trek. R2D2 belongs in the universe of "Star Wars." Huge difference there my friend. ;P

weelass said...

I remember all of those things from our flights.

The pants thing sounds JUST like my husband. I was so happy when he finally got a job where he had to dress more professionally. He has so much more of a variety now! :)