Thursday, December 9, 2010

Dear Peanut - Welcome to the World


Last week I read this post on the Chase After the Wind blog in which she talks about her visceral reaction to listening to Sara Groves song Child of Love while holding her new baby. I read it and meant to listen to the song but got busy and left the window open on my computer for days. Now... days later, it turns out I ended up listening to it with my new baby boy in my arms, and I sat there with tears streaming down my cheeks.

The fact that Jesus is the Savior of the world and God incarnate makes Him, of course, a very different baby than mine. But still. He was a baby. Mary is a mother. She held him as I hold Judah. That is a mystery that I feel keenly with all the emotions of new motherhood.

"Child of wonder, close your eyes, rest here in my arms tonight."

Oh the wonder of a tiny human being, a package that somehow I have joined with God in creating and growing, and now he sleeps and eats in MY arms...


Precious miracle of life, child of love, Gift of hope, the gift of light, From the Father above, And You were made for all mankind, But You will always be mine, child of love

The miracle of life is powerful to me these days, and I can't even put into words how precious and perfect I think my baby is. It's really... overwhelming and inexpressible. And he also was made with a purpose outside of me and my life - he's made to grow and leave and live. And yet (and I haven't yet been able to say or write this without tears), he's always my son, and nothing will change that.


My son.

My baby.


......
Yes, he's here! Contractions started just after midnight on his due date, so he's punctual. We're home from the hospital and settling in, and I have much to write about. Mostly, though, I wanted to capture some of the emotion I have such trouble expressing as I wonder at the baby I hold. I later tried to express to Isaac what I felt while listening to the song and ended up in tears again... with him in tears too. It's amazing, this parenthood thing.

22 comments:

Andrea Elizabeth said...

Congratulations! How beautiful.

Jaimie said...

Judah is an awesome name! Congrats, Kacie.

I had a cousin born yesterday as well (although maybe not on the same day... I dunno, it's hard to get dates straight with delayed posting and stuff). Lorna Lucie, a girl. I'm excited to see her.

matchingmoonheads said...

he's here!! i was wondering how it was going! and its hard to read that line and not tear up too. welcome to the world little one :)

Rach said...

It is SO amazing. Your life will never be the same again. Congrats and welcome little Judah.

Rae said...

Congratulations! So beautiful.

Amy B. said...

I'm crying tears of joy for you right now!

I wept at least once a day for the first 2 weeks, overwhelmed with emotions of all sorts. Parenthood is indeed amazing.

And I love the name Judah!!

Would you let me send you a small baby gift?? If it's ok, then email me your mailing address. If that makes you uncomfortable, just let me know, and I will just tell you what I was going to send as a recommendation!! xo

CM said...

Congratulations!!!

Shanda said...

So beautiful! I love reading about this new journey for you... :) He's so precious!

Camels & Chocolate said...

Oh my, oh my, oh my. What a dashing duo you and Peanut make!

Hannah said...

Congratulations to both of you. He's beautiful. x

Alida said...

What an incredible journey is ahead for you, Isaac and Judah. May God richly bless you all in the years to come.

junglewife said...

Congratulations! i was just thinking that a baby would be a good reason for an unexplained bloggy absence... :-)

Enjoy this one-on-on time with your sweet baby. I know that the first few weeks can be such a hard period of adjustment to motherhood, but if you can, just soak up all the time you get to snuggle with your little guy. As long as those nights can seem, they are also a great snuggle opportunity!

Thanks for sharing about the song. I love that song, too, although I am not usually a big Sara Groves fan. I've got it on my Christmas playlist, and always have to sing along when it comes up, even though I am NOT a "singer-alonger" :-)

Erin said...

Congratulations! He's so beautiful :)

cclarebear said...

I just said to Vic - my best friend makes breast milk now.

tee hee hee

Young Mom said...

Congratulations on your beautiful baby! You are so right, it does change you forever.

kelley said...

Congrats guys!

Okay, I'm totally curious what you went with in re: to circumcision. Nate and I went back and forth and everywhere on this one. Neither of us felt super strongly but didn't want to make a "bad" decision. Then we had a decision ... and after Canaan was born ended up doing the opposite.

Charlotte said...

Congratulations, Kacie! It's a whole new world now.

Maureen Kennedy said...

Welcome to our world, little guy!! Congratulations, mama!

Bethany said...

Congratulations!!!! Judah is a great name, and he's just precious :)

Alice said...

I'm so excited for all of you, Kacie. What a wonderful early Christmas present. I remember when Lucy was born, I said to my mom, "I can't believe she's real and she's mine!" She told me, "I still think that about you and your brother." It's a love thing. :-) Judah is so beautiful!

zablon said...

congratulations on your new baby. you two look so lovely.

Whitney Lane said...

Congratulations!!! He is beautiful. What a perfect gift!!