What do you do when the church is broken and ugly?

I read three posts right in a row this week that addressed this question. Though it doesn't hit home emotionally anymore because I am more overwhelmed these days by the grace, community, and hope found in the church; for years during and after undergrad I was angry at the church. Horrified by what I saw there, by the people that called themselves Christians, by what the "Christian" world in America stood for. I felt like the church I was looking simply could not be the body of Christ on the earth, because they looked nothing like Christ.

That's what Sarah wrote about at Emerging Mummy this week, with deep emotion and passion. In conclusion, she says she may withdraw out of the church, unable to identify with it anymore.

Someone named Mary commented on her post and said that she understood all of what Sarah had said, and had herself pulled out of church for eight years for similar reasons. Then she said this:

 I am going to challenge you a bit here.

Questions: have you asked God what HE wants you to do? Does he want you to leave? If we love the things that HE loves, how can we pick and choose what we want to love? You are doing this because you say the church does not love the things you feel are close to God's heart.

Yet Christ gave himself up for the church (Eph 5:25) and calls the church is bride (Rev 21:9). He loves the church. The church is close to God's heart--very close. We are called to love the unlovely...and sometimes that is his church. I don't feel much love for the church leaping off the screen here.

I sense a lot of anger, bittnerness--which I realize is not unfounded. However, do you trust God to lead you in church life accordingly? Or are you trusting your own misgivings? Why are these concerns bigger than He is? The church needs someone like you to point out its failures. The church isn't and NEVER will be perfect. I think being self-protective can be insulating; spiritually isolating--even unfruitful...

All I'm saying is don't give up on what Christ died to bring unto himself.

This reasoning is was what convicted me as well, when I was angry and disillusioned. I decided I had to see what scripture showed was expected of the church, and so I searched the New Testament to see how the church was talked about. I was overwhelmed by Jesus' charges to all who followed him to care for and nurture the church, His body, His bride.  If He loves the church, then if I love Him, I must love the church too, because it is what He calls His followers to do. When I asked, how can You love this mess? He said - so great is my grace!

imonk had a post about this up this week as well, in which he said a great many things. It's titled Theology, Depression, and the Unsolvable Problem of the one, true Church.

Scot McKnight also oddly wrote on the same topic this week in a post titled Criticizing the Church, Defending the Church, and had this to say:

What ever makes us think the church has to be either perfect or we'll stay home and do our own thing? I've been thinking about this this year, and the thought keeps coming into my head along these lines:

God's People, whom he never disowned, in the Old Testament did some great things and some mighty stupid things; they had some great leaders and some disgusting ones; they had some high moments and they had some low moments.

God's people, whom he never disowns, in the New Testament, move from that wonderful church plant of fellowship in Acts 2 and 4 to some liars and deceivers and some great leaders who get into arguments with one another and sometimes abandon one another and get themselves in awful messes. And Paul tells us about church problems that would make us ...

Admit that an Augustinian ecclesiology is perhaps what we need because it's what we've got. Perhaps a cracked Fellowship of cracked Eikons is the point of what the church is!

Perhaps that's why the churches have always put the Eucharist table in the middle. We come to the Table to partake in God's forgiving grace because we're cracked Eikons. When cracked Eikons form a fellowship, you get a cracked Fellowship. In the cracks God works his grace.

Hair Post - Your Advice Needed

For most of my life I've had my hair just below shoulder length. And straight.

From this age:

To this age:

My hair is hard to curl, mostly because it is generally thick and healthy. Mom mom would curl it as a kid and it would be straight again within hours, and my own attempts acheived similar results, until a year and a half ago I found a youtube video about curling your hair with a hair straightener... and suddenly I can achieve some day-long curl! I love curls:


But you know, I am contemplating changes. The biggest change I've done was this one, a couple of years ago. I loved it, and kept it (more or less) until recently, but now it's growing out again.


Doppelganger week on facebook made me think. People tell me all the time I look like Kirsten Dunst, and someone else said I look like Ginnifer Goodwin. In both cases I think it's the cheeks.All three of us have ... well... prominent cheeks?!


So - doppelganger week inspired me to take a look at the hair choices on these two ladies and see what I liked on them.

Well. Kirsten Dunst can sometimes be horrifyingly unkempt, though of course her awards show photos are nice. She just doesn't have a lot of variety. Mostly she goes blonde, which I wouldn't do, and either shoulder length or long.


But what about her Spiderman II look? Could I pull off red?Maybe a little softer of a shade?


I could just keep growing my hair out and go for a lighter shade a brown to get something different: Long hair is easy, but it just gets boring after a while. I've NEVER dyed my hair, but I could. Light brown? Black?


I wish I wish I wish I could get my hair to do this easily, but it is super difficult. A perm? I've considered it. Because my hair is thick, I'm afraid a perm would end up as POOF.


I kinda dig the chin-length look though.



Ack. Suggestions? Advice?

Update: I did end up cutting my hair...... really short! I wrote about it here.

Traveling Adventures in Hicktown, South Texas

I mentioned last week that Isaac and I were given a weekend getaway at a bed and breakfast in South Texas. We LOVED it, and not only because of the bed and breakfast part! We love to explore and travel, and at times Texas may as well be a country of its own. It was good to get a healthy taste of small-town Texas!

 On the drive down we stopped to get gas at "Willie's Place", which turned out to be a cafe/museum/gas station dedicated to Willie Nelson.It was SO HICK.So hick, in fact, that you could buy bandannas with braids attached.


I am clearly not truly Texan, because I don't think I've ever listened to Willie Nelson. I just know he's famous for being a great country singer. Mostly I think he just looks old and hick.


 We had an odd experience first at Willie's Place, where Isaac stepped to the counter and rendered the check-out lady speechless for a moment. 'Ohh.... umm... wow.... you look so dressed up in that long coat."  haha! He was just wearing a gray scarf and a long black coat - classic Chicago look. Apparently it's odd enough in the land of coyboys and hicks to render a cashier speechless. This was confirmed while we were eating dinner in Austin and a classy looking African-American couple was seated next to us. Their hostess said, "Do you mind if I ask you a question? Are you from around here? Oh you are? You just looked so nice and put together with your long coats and Texans are usually wearing about 10 layers of mismatching clothing in the cold, I figured you had to be from somewhere else. " So funny and odd to realize how out of place we are in our Chicago styles.


After driving through the middle of nowhere for a couple of hours, we made it to our bed and breakfast, which was an old plantation-style mansion. The owner was gone, he left it unlocked for us. Who leaves a MANSION unlocked? Apparently you do in the middle of nowhere! It was gorgeous. The odd thing was that it was owned and operated by a gay couple. I didn't expect a small town like Gonzales, TX to fully accept a gay couple to the extent that they would stick around, but I guess they have!



Belle Oaks is an old mansion, built in 1912. For all my friends from England, this is actually considered super old here! In any case, the building and grounds were very nice but what was truly stunning was the decor and antiques that were EVERYWHERE. I felt like I was in a game of Clue. Here's Isaac in the conservatory with the candlestick. Nevermind.
The grounds were pretty but not perfect given that it's the winter. That added to the spooky factor a little.

Isaac is a full time grad school student and although he was looking forward to our getaway, I had to promise that he'd be able to get work done over the weekend, so we spent quite a bit of time like this, working on homework.

Actually, I picked up a brochure for a coffee shop that surprised me. It said the owner had travelled the Middle East and Europe during a career a corporate career, and settling down in Gonzales had allowed him to fulfill his dream of opening up a coffee shop that served a quality cup o' joe. That and the free wi-fi sounded good to us, so we drove over... and nearly missed it. It wasn't exactly what I expected.

Greg's Coffee Shop:
On our second drive past this building I looked closer and saw this sign:
Classy, eh? HILARIOUS. The guy is running a computer store and coffee shop out of this old building while simultaneously remodeling. It was so ramshackle and awesome, I loved it. And turned out he also was a seminary grad who knew Greek and Hebrew and had quite the personal story as well! You never know what you'll find in a small town.

I love it when what everyone calls the "downtown" looks like this!


How can you have a downtown when the rest of the town is all within a 10 minute drive? There were approximately four restaurants in the whole town. We took a driving tour, which we thoroughly enjoyed. The very center of town is actually a super cool courthouse.

Gonzales is "famous" because they were the "Lexington of Texas", and the first battle of the war for Texan Independence took place here. Apparently the Mexicans had a cannon that they'd given to the little town/fort of Gonzales so they could defend themselves, and when hostilities grew with the settlers the Mexican army came to get the canon and Sam Houston came to fight them. They actually burned the whole town in retreat and it was rebuilt later.

One thing we laughed at... there were like six churches all within three blocks of each other. One had a sign about their "missions" to the people "downtown" versus their other remote location. We drove past it on our way out of town - they were 10 minutes away from each other!


It's fun to roam around and discover things like this tiny house, which was one of the first homes in Gonzales. Isaac wouldn't have fit in it. It has two rooms that something like six people lived in. The one on the left is the kitchen/dining room/living room, and the one on the right is the bedroom.


Super fun. I loved the taste of Texan history. It really is so crazy that they used to be their own nation, that they had their own war for independence. I appreciate the small towns too - I'm envious of the intimate communities and shared history and stability!

Is the incarnational Gospel present in the life of the parish in Eastern Orthodoxy?

Over the last few days I have been reading the stories of a number of Protestant pastors, teachers, and leaders that have converted to Eastern Orthodoxy. I have a post coming up with some of their stories, because immediately we ask, "Why?" What caused them to not merely see the flaws in their own area and work for change and growth, but feel that they needed to completely move into Eastern Orthodoxy?" I find their stories fascinating.

While I was looking into those stories I read two fantastic articles by Bradley Nassif, who has the very interesting role of being Eastern Orthodox and being a professor at an evangelical school - North Park University in Chicago. He's written about Orthodoxy in Christianity Today, and reading that article in '07 was one of the first things that piqued my interest.

One thing I deeply appreciate about Nassif is that he is honest about the needs and flaws within Orthodoxy. As someone on the outside looking in, I wonder about these things all the time. Why do some Orthodox and Catholic churches seem spiritually dead, despite the richness of their liturgy? Why are Orthodoxy churches so often about nationalism rather than the Gospel? Why are so many believers almost completely undiscipled, to the extent that their children come to the Protestant church and say they've never heard the gospel before? I have found deep community, discipleship, accountability, and transformation in the Protestant Church - why do I often find this missing in Catholic and Orthodox churches? I now know this is not at all true of many Orthodox or Catholic churches or families, but it certainly can be a problem. Thus I really appreciated Nassif's strong words to his own Orthodox church in his article in Christianity Today,  "Will the 21st Be the Orthodox Century?"

I suggest that the Great Tradition of our Great Church cuts both ways, and we ourselves are judged by it! Even if the gospel is formally a part of the life of the Orthodox church, as we believe, that does not mean our people have understood and appropriated its message. "Catholicity" (i.e., "the whole and adequate" expression of the faith) must be discerned and applied if the church is to be spiritually viable in today's world...

More and more Orthodox, as they study the Great Tradition, are admitting that our leaders and laity don't have a mature grasp of their own faith. They recognize that the church isn't free from ethnocentrism or religious bigotry, that it hasn't contextualized its faith and liturgy in the modern world, and that it hasn't figured out how to relate to unchurched people in North America (its converts consist mostly of disillusioned believers from other Christian traditions). More and more Orthodox, as they explore the early church afresh, see that there are parts of its ancient liturgies that seem to have no biblical justification and that we cannot simply regard the Reformation and the last millennium in the West as nothing more than a sideshow.

To be sure, there are countless cases of people whose spiritual lives are flourishing in vibrant Orthodox communities. Still, the most urgent need in world Orthodoxy is the need to engage in an aggressive "internal mission" of spiritual renewal and rededication of our priests and people to Jesus Christ. I know from experience that it's possible to be "religious, but lost." That's why all of us Orthodox—bishops, priests, and people—need to make the gospel crystal clear and absolutely central in our lives and in our parishes. We must constantly recover the personal and relational aspects of God in every life-giving action of the church. Naturally, if this happens, it will lead to a revival within Orthodoxy, which will cause the church to blossom in unprecedented ways.

Nassif wrote another article that I perhaps liked even better, called  "Reclaiming the Gospel".

We all know that the Orthodox Church possesses a very rich and beautiful theological inheritance. Few would dispute the architectural wonder of our cathedrals, the artistic beauty of our iconography, or the inspirational impact of our ancient hymns and liturgical services. Our theological literature from the past continues to define the meaning of the word orthodoxy for those who have lost their way in the contemporary maze of theological liberalism, cultic religion, or postmodernism. We Orthodox have done better than all others at "not changing the faith once delivered to the saints" (Jude 1:3).....

Still, it is quite obvious from the weak participation in our liturgical services and in the personal lives of some members, that Orthodoxy is often failing to meet the spiritual needs of our people -- in America as well as the motherlands of Russia, Greece, Eastern Europe and the Middle East. Parishioners are coming and going in and out of church with little visible change in their lives. In short, they do not know the core content of the gospel or how to integrate its meaning into their everyday lives. I realize these are sad things to say, but a correct diagnosis precedes the proper cure....

So, in the end, if we Orthodox wish to possess a truly incarnational, trinitarian faith, we will constantly need to recover the personal and relational aspects of God in every life-giving action of the Church. Failure to keep the gospel central will constitute an experiential denial of our own faith. We must stop our religious addiction to "Orthodoxy" and its "differences" with the West. We need rather to recover the evangelical dimensions of our total Church life. The liturgy itself exhorts us to that end. The four Gospels are the only books that sit upon the very center of the altar because in them alone do we hear the Good News -- all else in the Church is commentary. It is the Bible which guides and judges the Church, not the other way around. Thus, in the words of St. John Chrysostom, whose name our liturgy bears, "The lack of Scriptural knowledge is the source of all evils in the Church." I fear that many converts are coming to the Church through a revolving door, quietly leaving because their lives and families are not being sufficiently fed. Only a gospel-transformation will make the Orthodox Church healthy enough to sustain the lives of parishioners who seek spiritual nourishment in our communities.

Learning about Lent

I didn't grow up ever having people around me participate in Lent. In the past few years it's come into vogue among young evangelicals to give something up, and the last few years I've had lots of friends and acquaintances giving up blogging and/or facebook and/or tv for Lent.

I'd thrown out the idea of joining in mostly because I tend to dislike following the crowd, and it felt like a crowd movement. Yeah, it seemed kinda cool, but it seemed like something I should be convicted about and decide to do between me and God, not just because it was cool. Last year I followed Scot McKnight's call to begin every day by praying the the "Jesus Creed" (essentially praying back to God the first and second greatest commandments) and then praying it every time it's brought to mind throughout the day. That was a good exercize.

This year I thought about it all as we approached Ash Wednesday, but now I am aware of the depth and importance of Lent in the Catholic and Orthodox tradition, and felt a bit intimidated/humbled by this. I haven't really known what Lent is all about. I know people give things up, but I don't really know WHY, what the purpose is behind this. My church is absolutely not liturgical, so to be discipled in this process I would have had to find another church nearby. I couldn't find a morning or noon-time service near my work, and the less-interested hubs nixed my two evening service suggestions. So. I think this year I will spend some time simply learning about Lent, rather than giving up things without understanding why I am doing so.

I really appreciated Julie Clawson's post about Lent.

She starts off by saying:

The point of Lent is not denial.
But for a long time I thought it was. Everything I heard about Lent revolved around the acts of self-denial. It was all about what object or habit one would give up and how hard it was to deny oneself of that thing. Of course that denial was meant to help one think about God and Christ’s sacrifice, but in truth the focus was always on the act of denial itself. The question always is, “what are you giving up for Lent?” as if that is what the season is about.When it comes to Lent we often...denying ourselves something for the sake of denial. We give up chocolate or Facebook thinking that act of denial is the purpose of Lent. And we end up missing the point.


But Lent isn’t about denial, it is about transformation. It is the season in which we prepare to encounter Christ’s sacrifice by endeavoring to become more Christ like ourselves. Transformation is about letting ourselves be filled with God’s presence so that we can be shaped by God’s grace. Our acts of kenosis – denying ourselves in order to empty ourselves enough to allow God to fill us – are means to an end. They are disciplines that prepare us to be transformed. We deny ourselves so that we can be reborn as new creations – to live more fully as the Kingdom citizens God desires us to be.

I encourage you to read the rest of her post by following the link above if you're interested. It was a great post. I've gone back and read some other resources as well, and come to understand that historically Lenten practices are alms-giving, fasting, and prayer. In the early church it was the 40 day period leading up to Easter in which new believers where taught the doctrine of the church and prepared for their baptism on Easter day. It used to be that the entire church fasted every Wednesday and Friday, Lent or not.

The church as a whole practices in in a variety of ways, with the Orthodox, Catholic, and high Church Protestant churches all varying in practice. Regardless, the point is the come to the Lord and repent and prepare your life for Him.

So. I am thinking about this, and how someone can participate in the universal church's Lenten preparations even without being a part of a local church's preparations. I appreciated Rachel Held Evan's suggestions of passages to read, 10 questions to ask yourself, etc.

Stories - and how experience forms life and faith

Experiences have a profound affect on our faith and spirituality, as they are rather hard to ignore. You have to either find a way to incorporate your experience into your faith so it makes sense, or you have to attempt to deny it or not think about it... or else it will change you. These are some of the things I have experienced. 

When I was in middle school in Indonesia, the daughter of one of my Dad's Indonesian co-workers was run over by a truck. Didien was young - maybe 8 or 10 years old? She went into a coma. The missions community raised the funds to transport the Didien to a decent hospital on another island, where she remained in a coma for weeks. Everyone thought she was going to die. Then we began receiving emails with some hope in them. One week the Didien's dad wrote to say that she'd begun responding to sound. The next week she'd begun to make noises. The next week he wrote to say she'd  opened her eyes and started looking around.

When Didien woke up she told her father that she'd been walking in a garden with Jesus. She said it was wonderful, but Jesus had touched her ears, and she could hear the sounds of her parents talking to her. Then he'd touched her mouth and told her to speak, and then He'd touched her eyes and told her to see and sent her back to her family. That was the story an 8 year old girl told. I've never forgotten it.

When I was 17 my brother and I accompanied my best friend and her brother to the dedication of a newly published New Testament in the language of the people group that their parents had spent their lives working with. I'd spent several vacations there, but this time when our tiny plane landed we found the hillsides filled with throngs of villagers dancing and singing. Some had traveled for weeks to come and get a Bible. We sat at the front of the crowd and I watched while the first Bible was handed to the first baptized Christian in the area - an old, frail man. He wept and wept and wept and couldn't speak for the joy. That is the only such dedication that I've been to, but I hear stories from each dedication and each is similar - people weeping for joy over the words of God made accessible to them in their own culture and language.







When I was 16 I had a friend plagued by horrible fears and paranoia. Many believed it was demonic oppression and prayed for release. A year later, once my friend had seen a counselor and been put on medication, the fears were controlled.

When I was 20, one of my friends told me that she had emerged out of a deep depression after having had demons cast out of her. Six years later she told me that she no longer believed in God, and that she believed the exorcism experience had been created by emotional buildup, and that the positive effects of the experience were simply the product of believing she was healed and acting accordingly.

When I was in middle school, and older kid (high school aged) in the missions community that was known as a rebel returned to the US for a summer.  While he was there he attended a Promise Keepers Conference, and during and emotional worship time the man next to him began speaking in tongues. To his surprise, the kids realized it was Indonesian and he could understand everything. The kid returned home and destroyed all of his angry rock music. However, in a couple of years it appeared as though the experience hadn't ever happened at all.

When I was17 a guy in my class(also known as a bit of a rebel) accidentally hit a pedestrian with his motorcycle. The man died, and my classmate spent months recovering physically and being silent emotionally. He told me later that he grappled with God in those months as he never had before. He returned to the US and came back a different person - loving instead of aloof, kind to those not in his own social circles, speaking openly about faith as he never had before. His transformation only continued - through the years he has become one of the most passionate believers I've ever met, one who loves people well and pursues God passionately and lives counter-culturally. Ironically (since so many people doubted him) his faith is an example to me.


When I was 18 I got into an accountability relationship with a dear friend, with whom I was brutally honest and confessed my sins to as I never had before. The freedom and healing and grace delivered through that friendship changed me, and has made me believe passionately that grace and love expressed by the people of God to each other within the body of Christ is better than any counseling. Friendships and community continues to be the most transforming and challenging thing in my life of faith.

When I was 19 one of the missionaries in the community I grew up in was caught in the midst of sin and scandal. The family returned to the US, reeling and broken as a family. One usually thinks of people growing disillusioned when they hear stories like this, disgusted by the hypocrisy of someone in leadership. Instead, I have been amazed to watch the repentance, counseling, grace, and healing within their marriage, given by the community they lived in, etc. Sin is a tragedy, but it is also a reality. When repentance, grace, and forgiveness enter into brokenness, it is truly a beautiful thing. Cracked pots used for the glory of God. 

When I was 22 and nearing graduation, I sat on a bus and headed to a work catering event with a friend. He was on our student council and activity planning team, was very popular among the student body and was an excellent student. On the bus he told me he really had no idea what life would look like after graduation and that it was frightening to him. It was the last time I spoke to him because a week later he boxed up all of his belonging and addressed them to his home, and then went home on spring break and shot himself in the head.

My entire childhood when I woke up I would enter our living room to find one or both of my parents sitting quietly in their pajamas with their Bible open on their lap. My entire childhood. The first family reunion after getting married I watched as my mother-in-law wept as she spoke of committing herself to study scripture herself and how she had grown to love it deeply. My great grand-father was from a family of 12 brothers, all law-breakers and rebels. He was converted in a camp meeting and his life was changed. My grandfather told me that the one habit he couldn't kick was smoking, until one morning when ash from his cigarette fell on his Bible as he read. He never smoked again.

My other great grandfather was in the military in WWI and WWII. He was a pastor and lived to be 100 (when he remarried - yes, at 100). I remember him well, and how he used to get up every morning and read the Bible, and then ride his exercise bike and pray.  My mother and father both also tell their story of being raised in somewhat passive households until they were brought into small groups that taught them to read scripture - which transformed and redirected their lives. Scripture has grabbed generations of my family. I began reading scripture daily when I was in 6th grade (for some reason I find it much harder to be disciplined about it together!), and I have always found deep comfort and challenge and truth in those words. I have been deeply disillusioned with the Church in its various forms, but never scripture.



These experiences deeply affect how I view human nature, faith, scripture, sin, the church, etc. Experience is not infallible, and can be seen differently depending on the lens of believe that you wear. Yet - it does form us.

A few things that drove me crazy this week

1. At work I worked on some of the wording for a brochure we are creating to advertise a conference. The ad we were working on had several photos, including a prominent one of a hand holding a cross - a rather striking photo. The woman I was working with pointed at the photo and said that she didn't like it, it seemed "denominational". I had no idea what she meant but in general I am a peacemaker and didn't think the photo was necessary to the design, and agreed that it could be replaced. When we went over the design with someone else, he also pointed to the photo and referred to it as the "Catholic photo" that we certainly wouldn't use.

What? *shakes head*. I thought about it when I got home and am increasingly bothered by this. Why is an image of a cross on a chain considered Catholic, and why is a Catholic image considered unacceptable? I find THAT to be unacceptable. Urgh.

2. A friend told me last week that last year he was sure Obama was the anti-Christ, but this year his popularity has dropped so he must not be. *shakes head*. What bothers me most about this statement is that I think the fear and suspicion of Obama is common in much of conservative evangelicals, and that it is firmly based in rumors and false accusations rather than anything true at all. It drives me crazy.

On that note, I read this statement in an article in TIME about people in Pakistan and their feelings and attitudes about the US.

From the Pakistani army barracks to the roadside chai stands along the Indus River where truckers gulp down cups of muddy tea, anti-Americanism is roiling across the country. It is whipped up by the often sensationalist, ratings-hungry Pakistani TV news talk shows — think of Fox News cranked up to full volume, in Urdu. It resounds from the mosques, in virulent anti-U.S. sermons during Friday prayers.

Here's a sample of a few conspiracy theories making the rounds: the U.S. military has a secret plan to seize Pakistan's nuclear arsenal; more than 9,000 agents of Blackwater, the U.S. security company, now called Xe Services, are roaming the country like bogeymen, at the CIA's behest, kidnapping people and setting off bombs that are later blamed on Pakistani Taliban militants; B-52 bombers are constantly circling the skies over Pakistan, waiting to strike when the signal is given (to strike what is never exactly clear from the rumors).

Okay, so we look at that and shake our heads. I can verify it, I saw it with my own eyes. It was scary to see. But really, I am equally disturbed by the same things happening in conservative circles in America (I'm picking on the conservatives because that's the circle I'm in). We have increasingly sensationalist news and radio hosts who thrive on rumors. We get fired up by them, the fear is passed along in email forwards, tea parties, sermons, and facebook groups.We are driven SO MUCH by suspicion and conspiracy theories.

I'm not saying that's all that Conservatives say or do, but I'm saying the extent of it is frightening. 

Snow in Dallas causes the city to fall apart and life to be very interesting

We had several strange and surreal days last week.

-Wednesday night I attempted to come home and prepare for a very important Thursday morning meeting, but when I got to our street it was blocked by FOURTEEN fire trucks, and I wasn't allowed in for hours! News trucks were around, cops, a helicopter circling overhead.... turns out that three apartments burned down in the apartment complex across from ours.

- Thursday morning I woke up to go to said very important meeting and walked out the door into a winter wonderland. A couple of inches of snow was covering the ground and that rarely happens in Dallas - it was GORGEOUS. I was lovin' it!


- My very important meeting went super well and I was giddy on my way to work because of that and the gorgeous snow and my latte. All day at work everyone was grinning and happy, and the cafe downstairs gave away free chocolate cake - can't beat that! And it kept snowing hard ALL day long - so beautiful! We got out of work early to beat the snow-traffic crush, because everyone knows that the entire city stops when a flake falls in Dallas. 


- Seeing Dallasites building snowmen and having snowball fights and sledding on the hills was fun. The second picture was actually taken the day after the snow when I went to get my oil changed at Walmart. This guy is in a Walmart auto-repair uniform and has a nametag that says "Jimbo'.

- Went out to eat with the roomates, which took forever because of the snow traffic crush. It was definitely getting hairy out - the roads were covered in slush, the snow was extremely heavy by this time, and on our way home it was total craziness. We saw power go out in whole neighborhoods, and at one stoplight lightning hit not too far away, and every time the lightning hit the traffic light would flash green before going dead again. Super weird. When we got home we were completely freaked out by successive HUGE greenish explosions of light outside our apartment complex that were accompanied by a WAAAAH sound. At the time it felt like Lost or an alient movie, but now we're told it was transformers flashing (and exploding?) as tree branches fell on them. Half my church was without power for three days. We were fine, though, and rather enjoyed the whole experience!
- Turns out it was the most snow to fall in Dallas in a day in recorded history. 11 inches in places. It was gorgeous, but then... we didn't lose power so I can say that. And all of us got the day off of work and school. The next morning at noon there were STILL major traffic lights out, huge trees split and laying across the roads, and traffic overhangs bent from the weight of the snow. The snow was practically raining off the trees as the city warmed up, and we saw something like 20 different traffic and power line repair trucks streaming down the highway from Oklahoma into south Dallas. Maybe Oklahoma was lending a hand to a very unprepared city?

Well, I was going to keep going and talk about Isaac and I taking a trip into South Texas, but this is getting long so you'll just have to wait. :) 

How to conduct a cheesy Bible college relationship

Or.... how I met and married my husband.


This is also something from my old blog that is sort of necessary information. How can I have a blog about my life and not include the story of my husband and I? This is how I met and married my hubby, complete with an embarrassing photo narration.


The beginning - seven and a half years ago:

I was nineteen and he was eighteen when we met. He was an incoming freshman to our Bible College, and I was part of the group running his orientation (for missionary kids and international students). Everyone who has been to Bible college realizes that it may as well be a meat market in terms of dating. I was in on the fun - both Isaac and I had had almost-but-not-quite relationships the year before and were very single and open to fun and flirtation with new prospects. I remember the first evening of the orientation pretty clearly - my friends and I took stock of the incoming group... mature, I know.

(the first photo of Isaac that I sent home to the family. My mom's response: "He's taller then the Sears Tower!")

He was tall. I liked his dark hair and ready smile and, most of all, his humor, which was constant (and still is). He was definitely loud (to some, that translated to obnoxious - but I've always found the sarcastic jokers to be the most fun), and definitely a flirt, in a very Bible-college sort of way. It took me all of a week for me to decide he was not just my favorite of the new guys, but definitely the one I intended to get to know. Isaac teases me now and says that I chased him and caught him, but that is totally untrue. *wink*

( Isaac loves to tease, hence the blue pool chalk that is all over my face in this photo. Isaac looks frighteningly cheesy. This is within weeks of meeting)

Turns out that the group that Isaac came in with was filled with life-long friends for both Isaac and I. That first semester we practically spent every evening out around Chicago - at the beach, navy pier, rollerblading in the city, grabbing coffee, or just wandering around. Isaac and my first date was to Chicago's Celtic festival and was supposed to be a group outing that everyone else canceled on. We spent the rest of the day talking for hours, exploring the festival, walking through the city, discovering a little garden courtyard and fountain in front of the art-institute, and grabbing slushies from 7-11.



(Some of our group of friends, out on the town on Michigan Ave. Isaac at bottom right)




So we played the typical Bible college relationship game. Christian girls use relational intensity and a fun-loving persona to catch men, I tell you. They might know that's what they're doing, but I think it's the evangelical version of a courtship ritual. In any case, whatever I did by simply laughing at his jokes and being sweet and coy worked, and Isaac's mom says it was just a few weeks into his time at Moody that he answered her question, "So, any girls you're interested in?" with "Yeah, there's this girl named Kacie...." and that from that point on he never changed his answer.

(Yikes, we're SO young... looking over photo albums at my grandpa's house)

The Dating Years (Dating Sucks)



In any case, we had the stereotypical DTR “define the relationship” in Culby 2 and of course said we wanted to “take our time” and “get to know each other”, which meant another few months of not dating”, and annoying everyone else around us by our starry eyes. This is standard procedure at Moody, except for the couples that begin dating immediately and get married in 6-8 months. Isaac and I spent missions conference completely unfocused on the speakers and holding hands for the first time (despite “not dating), which was the height of happiness, I tell you.

After having known each other for about six months, he asked me to be his girlfriend at the Starbucks outside Loyola University.We spent

the next two years were a roller coaster of getting to know each other. We debated everything you can think of. I kid you not; we could bicker with the best of them. In the end I really think it couldn’t have been healthier. We learned to argue, we learned each others’ weaknesses, we learned compromise and how to deal with the other’s personality, and … well, so much. But really, it’s amazing that we survived the experience to get to the marriage part!

Although technically our relationship was “long” for Bible College (three years from when we started our friendship), we really needed that time to grow up. I think the biggest things that made us “fit” were our similar experiences overseas and with very close families, our mutual love of learning and debate, and our complete honesty and ability to communicate with each other. We met each others’ families, we spent summers apart doing internships and working…. It was a gradual process, and honestly a rocky one. We nearly broke up a couple of times. 

Isaac was sure about me. He’s like that. He makes decisions and then obstacles are just things to get around, not stop signs. When he and I connected and within months he’d picked me, that was it for him. I love that. I, on the other hand, am rather afraid of an intimidated by decisions and commitments. It's sorta the perfectionist in me, and it's also the fact that I take marriage very very seriously. Oh, and we had some friends giving us rather bad advice about our relationship, and that damage was only undone when we sought the advice and counsel of a professor. I'm so thankful for Dr. Sauer and his insightful and hopeful words to us. I saw him this Fall and he was delighted to hear we were married and quite happy. 






(Isaac introducing me to my first drink  (Baileys))

(Isaac's favorite 'meet the family' photo. Unlike what you'd think from this one, he got along great with my siblings, and Matt adored him. In fact, in their banter back and forth one day, Matt looked at the two of us as said pointedly, "Marry". Isaac asked him why we should get married, and Matt looked at us and coyly said, "You mean, you mean, both mean, marry.")

Engagement...

In Dec. of ’05, someone asked me (for the millionth time) if we would be getting engaged soon, and for the first time, my answer wasn’t an immediate, “I’m not ready yet.” My roomate tipped Isaac off, and I spent that Christmas thinking it over without telling Isaac, and he shopping for a ring without telling me. 





On the first  night we returned from Christmas break, we went out on an anniversary date.  I was clueless. We were seated in big bay windows overlooking a snowy Michigan Avenue, lit up with the Christmas lights I love so much. He told me he loved me, which caused me to freeze and say, “Are you SURE?” because that was something neither of us intended to say until we were sure we could back it up with a lifetime commitment to continue loving. Oddly enough, both of us had decided that before we ever met each other. In any case, Isaac assured me he was completely sure, and got down on one knee and proposed, which was met with a long-drawn out silence of me sitting there with my hand over my mouth in shock, completely forgetting I was supposed to respond. I managed to say yes eventually, but it took me several hours to stop shaking and begin to even grasp what had happened and remember that I was actually wearing a diamond. It was a precious evening, complete with a champagne toast complements of a couple who had seen the proposal from across the restaurant (whoops, broke Moody rules, oh well, I couldn’t care less!).

Engagement was much more fun the dating (dating sucks), and marriage has been more fun then either. Our wedding was on the hottest day of the summer and I wouldn’t do it again (the wedding, not the marriage) for the world…. Elope, I tell you!

So that’s our story. Complete with all the cheesiness of an extremely young couple and the idiosyncrasies of a Bible College couple.

"Flagpoling" is a Moody tradition for engaged couples. The guy's friends plan a time to kidnap him, drag him to the central plaza of Moody while drawing as large of a crowd as they can manage, spray him with shaving cream and tie him up, and then hold a mock trial for "betraying the brotherhood and falling in love with a woman." They read all kinds of evidence of real or made up love letters, at which point the crowd condemns him for being guilty. The only way he's let out is when the crowd calls out for the woman in question and she comes running out from her hiding place and kisses him. A better description would be making out, as this is the only time kissing is allowed on campus and couples take advantage of it. In any case, it's a fun tradition)