Tuesday, July 26, 2011

thoughts on six years of marriage

You know... I've been married six years, as of last weekend.

It's kind of crazy. It doesn't really feel any different than it did at two years, but six years is actually a decent time to be married.

As time goes on I don't know what to think. I look at my husband and the past six years and think of how much I love this marriage thing, this partnership, this friendship. I know I knew a lot about him when I told him I'd marry him - I knew he was funny and could always make a joke, no matter how bad the situation. I knew he was smart and that we could talk for hours about things like theology and politics. I knew we both loved to travel. I knew he loved me and I knew his life was submitted to God. I knew those kinds of things. So - I think I made pretty great choice at that point.

But... there are some things you can never know when you say yes. You can't know what your spouse will be like in a year or 5 or 20. You can't know how they'll change, or you'll change, or if they'll fall morally or get depressed or change their religious beliefs or .... yeah. You can make a smart choice and be more sure based on the evidence, but there are no guarantees. You're marrying another person, they make their own choices you can't control them and they can't control you.

And... I was 22 and he was 21 when we got married. Were we mature for our ages? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. Is anyone mature at that age?We were just young idiots, but young idiots can make good or bad choices just like 35 or 65 year old idiots. I'm torn between thinking that wisdom and care in dating and marriage make all the difference, and that marriage may be rough no matter how well you set yourself up to begin with.

So, here we are at six years of marriage and I throw my hands in the air and say I'm just thankful. For what I've got. For Isaac. For our tiny one-bedroom apartment and our dreams and the "would you rather" questions we asked each other on our anniversary date, and for the little man that sat in a high chair giggling madly at his daddy all through our dinner.

I love my husband. Here's to many more years of "dancing in the minefields". 


Jaimie said...

Happy anniversary!

clare said...

aw - happy anniversary.

lisamckaywriting said...

Congrats, and what a lovely post. I'm with you on loving this marriage thing. And the being thankful.

kimberlyann said...

Happy anniversary! I just came across your blog. My husband, 10 month old son and I live in Dallas. We moved here in January so still trying to get used to the place. I can't wait to read more about you guys!


Steph said...

yep. You said it. Gratitude is what I have for you guys, as well. Thanks for being my Dallas family. <3