We have a plan.
I don't really like to write about it or even tell people, because it's still so uncertain to me. Anything could change. We might not be accepted to the organization we're applying to. Even if we did, we might not end up going to Indonesia after all. And as to how long it all lasts? That's anyone's guess.
I'm not afraid, though. I feel like I just have open hands, moving forward, ready for whatever change of plans is thrown my way. If one thing doesn't work out, something else will. There's a path to start on. It could end anywhere. I'm okay with that right now.
But you know, this post has been sitting in drafts for weeks and today? Today I'm terrified. Not that it won't work out, but of change and of my own limitations and insufficiency, of a future that is unknown. There are moments when I wish I could freeze time because right now, right now I am happy and right now things are familiar and I am capable. Not last year. Not next year. Right now. But I know that even if I tried to grasp at the present and hold it, it passes, always, and keeping things as they are can't possibly nail down what I love about life right now. Things must change, so if it must change we better get on hustling down the path we've been waiting to start down for the past four and a half years.
We turned in our application to an organization that works overseas. It's been quite an application. We've done all sorts of testing - medical, psychological, theological. We've filled out waivers and informational forms and life histories. We've done interviews and had friends fill out references.
And then. If we are approved, we begin the next stages of a journey that would have us end up in a little town in Papua, Indonesia. Isaac would be teaching at a local college. It is the same island I grew up on, but a different town. There are only a couple of Westerners nearby. The school is run by Indonesians.
We looked at a number of organizations. It wasn't so much about the organization as much a place where Isaac can teach. That's stage one in finding out what God wants us to do with the rest of our lives.
We have the tentative beginnings of a plan. We will take steps forward.