Monday, August 6, 2012

Chicago Summer Suburban Evenings

*Written during our week of training in Chicago

After our meetings are done and Judah is asleep, Isaac netflixes Star Trek (his way of relaxing) and I slip out in the fading light and I wander. Chicagoland summer weather is perfect, thick cool night air pouring through my fingers as I walk, the clouds wispy and gentle, the streets quiet. There’s a side street that now leads to nowhere and the sidewalks are an aisle lined with Queen Anne’s Lace. An old traffic construction post was run over and crushed but still the light on it blinks, half hidden in the weeds but a strange sight in the darkness.

I am a wanderer, and I am seeing myself reflected in my son's tendency to do the same. Set me loose for a moment and I am off, slipping around corners, taking the details, thinking. I realize after a while that it's strange that I am barefoot, but I am still convinced that suburban sidewalks are so much cleaner than the streets of Papua that I learned to walk on barefoot.

It’s beautiful, and my soul is quiet. I don’t have much to say, just prayers of thankfulness for where I am right now, for the privilege of today. We are surrounded by good people who are filled with love and joy and a heart for people all over the world. I’m challenged and blessed by the sessions we’re sitting in, mostly just thankful that people care enough to organize, train, and equip instead of simply sending idealistic people to flounder.

I get to watch Judah delight in kids his age really for the first time, running around our meeting room and screeching with delight. He’s spending most of the day away from both of us, which is a first, and seeing him interact with strangers is something that eases my heart. Isaac and I counted seven years of marriage this week, and we look back and see ourselves entering a whole new stage of marriage and life and walking into an unknown future and we just rest in today. I am here as an adult, as one in a life stage with the future ahead of me but childhood firmly behind me, and I feel stable in who I am and glad to be free of my wallflower awkwardness.

And so – I’m thankful.
I was struck at the beginning of the week with how average we all are, and I am in particular. What have I to offer anyone, any more than anyone else does? And you know, the answer is, maybe nothing. But, exceptional or not, service and obedience are the necessary outflowing of my faith. And besides, is not love exceptional?


CatharineKariana said...

Hey Kacie! It's Catharine. I hope you don't mind that I read your blog! You're a beautiful writer. I just thought it was funny what you said about walking barefoot. I'm exactly the opposite. I have a complex about walking barefoot in the city but in Indonesia, out in the country, I'm all hippy. :)

Kacie said...

I do both! But I tell people in the city that in the villages you're for sure walking in poo and pee, and it's only possible sometimes in the city. :)