I survived the week.
Isaac was gone most of this week at a conference and I attempted to take care of the kiddo and be a full time mama..... without taking time off work.
Conclusion: such a thing is impossible.
It was an interesting week, to say the least. For instance, Tuesday morning I tried desperately to find someone to watch the kiddo while I presented at a staff meeting. Couldn't find anyone and so asked a coworker to watch Judah in the back of the room while I was up front. That was futile, resulting in Judah wiping out midway up the aisle as the coworker chased after him, and then me holding him and attempting to simultaneously present to the staff while soothing big crocodile tears.
Friday afternoon I had him at the office again, because while some work can be done at home, lots of things require in person conversations and meetings. I set Judah up in a pack-n-play in an office, turned off the lights, and waited for the nap to set in. This is what we do at home. For two hours he ran in circles in the pack-n-play, giggled maniacally, made faces at me, and sometimes rested quietly .... still without sleeping. I finally left the room and apologized to all coworkers within earshot as Judah screamed... and then mercifully eventually fell asleep. He slept till 6pm and I worked in the empty office, unwilling to wake him.
There were other brilliant moments, things like me attempting to address a crumbling work project via a an intense and overwhelming call, whilst Judah terrorized the room around me and I tried not to cry.
Ultimately, I suppose I learned a few things.
1. I'm ever so thankful for friends. I don't live near family, and so having two friends who watched Judah for a couple of afternoons while I worked in the office was such a life-saver.
2. I'm also thankful for my work. I love my job and my boss, and am thankful for people loving on Judah instead of being annoyed that I had to bring him into the office several times this last week.
3. Single parents, you have my full respect. Seriously. You are strong, strong people. And ... if you're in my life, please feel free to ask for help any time you need it. Seriously.
4. Since I haven't been a full-time mom, I wondered if I'd feel totally overwhelmed by Judah this week, and was thankful that I really didn't. I felt overwhelmed that I had to BOTH work and watch Judah. Time with him, though, was wonderful. I was able to discipline (I was worried about that because I'm so much more of a softy than Isaac), spend quality time with Judah, and really enjoy mothering. I just eat up the quiet moments with him and the snuggles he gives so freely.
5. If I were single, I would apparently be a vegetarian (hardly ate meat the whole week) who never watches TV or movies and is a total work-a-holic. Isaac slows me down, helps me relax. It's good for me.
6. It's amazing the amount of emotional support simple marital companionship gives. Even without quality time, simply having another person around to share life and be able to debrief about a day... it's huge. There was a general sense of loneliness without that quality time together.
7. ETS (the Evangelical Theological Society conference, where Isaac was) is like a star wars convention for theology nerds. :)