Ah life. The days are passing, and change is in the air. Dallas is down in the low 90's, which is technically Fall down here. I always miss Chicago's Fall chill during this season, but it's okay. We'll get some chill eventually.... like late November.
The End In Sight At Work
This week I ran three and a half days of meetings. Running conferences and meetings is always the busiest time work, because when you work for a non-profit everyone has multiple jobs and I generally I am both administratively running the details (catering, setup, note-taking, printing, IT support, etc.), but also participating in the meeting because of my other roles. I love it, actually, because I thrive on being busy and productive and useful. Still, by the end of Thursday I was tired, and I realized that those are my last scheduled meetings to run in my six years at this job. The end is in sight. Candidates are being interviewed for my position.
I am ready. Ready to have this baby, ready to be done working, ready to move into the next stage of life. But I will also deeply miss the place and people and the ebb and flow of my actual job and the parts of if that I have thrived in and really felt ownership of.
And.... He Speaks! Judah's Speech Development
Judah is changing too. In the early summer we had him evaluated for speech delay and put a full court press on all fronts. He qualified for super affordable state speech therapy program, a specialist sent him to get ear tubes, and we worked to learn how to help with the speech development. We also did a ton of traveling that put him around other kids a lot. We didn't see immediate change, but I think he slowly gained momentum and this moth the floodgates opened and it feels like it's a new word every day, new ways of saying things, and a willingness to try sounds. It's SO fun, this communicating thing. I have no idea if he was already thinking these things and couldn't communicate them or if the ability to communicate is spurring intellectual development in general, but it's great to watch him learning letters and numbers and logic and humor.
Would he have naturally picked up speech without any of those forms of intervention? Maybe. It's impossible to tell. He might be, like many boys, just a bit late on speech. I suspect he did need the tubes. I'm not sure the speech therapy did that much for him. Still, he is speaking, so... I think it was all worth it. Better to do what you can than to wait till you go overseas and suddenly realize you need intervention and can't get it.
Five Weeks Till Due Date
And then there's pregnancy. Ah, this pregnancy has been interesting.
First trimester: Mildly sick and totally physically exhausted, which is worse than last time when I was never sick. Much faster weight gain than last time around. Also - breaking out like a teenager (or worse), which was super embarrassing.
Second trimester: A combined struggle with my blood sugar (easily weak, light-headed, passing out) and severe round ligament pain that only got worse with exercise, which means movement, even walking, was a struggle. The second trimester is supposed to be the best, but it totally sucked.
Third trimester: Totally manageable. Round ligament pain has flared up a few times but has been generally more doable, I feel more healthy and mobile and I don't get sciatica or swollen ankles or anything like that. The worst thing about the third trimester is just the wait
, the impending arrival getting closer and closer but you never know if it's two weeks or four weeks or, God forbid, six weeks. :)
Regardless, we picked up a bassinet last weekend (without really researching it beforehand or knowing what we were getting) and it's a gift from God via craigslist, because it's the absolute perfect size to fit next to the bed, a perfect wood stain match to the furniture in our room, it has both a Moses basket that pulls out and can be taken to the living room AND a changer that is stored underneath and can be snapped on top for diaper changing. And... it's adorable. It's just cute. And that makes it feel like there's something special, even if it's small, that's set up as place for this baby to come to. Judah also is realizing what is happening. I think he now understands that this is a baby and the baby will eventually actually be out, and will sleep in that bed, and will sit in "beebee's chair" in the car next to his own car seat.
Waiting for Departure and Support-raising Angst
In the rest of life, well, it's more like pregnancy. Waiting, waiting. We are still in the midst of fundraising and are beginning to get over the hump that we knew would probably come after spending so much time this summer away from our community here and the networking you have to do to effectively fund raise. I really believe that as the ball gets rolling again, we'll move forward fairly quickly. At least, I hope. It's my prayer. We're planning and praying and actively working this direction.
It's also exhausting, this fundraising thing.. It can feel feels corporate, impersonal, pushy, needy. I know from learning so much in the course of this year that it is necessary, and worth it, and there is much that is also good about it. I do wonder about the sustainability of this model, though. I wonder if there will be a way to partner business with the ministry we plan to have over there so that we aren't drawing on the support of individuals. Maybe, maybe. I have many thoughts here. I can't know yet, and I don't want to take a job and pay that could support an indigenous worker, but if my background as a Westerner could help as well as provide an income, well, maybe one day? I would love to go back to these people who are, through their funding, participating in the work to be done over there, and tell them that the work will go forward but they can send their money elsewhere. We'd all rejoice!
And... as I wrap up this post a rain storm rolled in and it's absolutely dumping outside now. I think this is absolutely beautiful and so I'm off to smell the rain and read a book.