Monday, March 24, 2014

A stop to smell the roses of this stage of life

I am a stop-to-smell-the-roses kind of a person. One of the tough things about this stage of life for me is that there is so little time to stop and treasure the small things.

Tonight we skyped my family and it's always such a trip, those moments. There are so many good conversations I want to have but mostly we just try to catch up on the big things, raising our voices and trying to hear each other over the whirlwind that is my crazy household with two littles.

I read this post today, which is titled "About a Boy" and is written by my sister Michelle about our brother Matt for World Down Syndrome day. I read it aloud to Isaac and we laughed and I got teary and we marveled over the photos and you just have to go read it. Because my brother is remarkable and my sister writes with her heart and family is such a beautiful thing.

I think that when we love other people, it spreads. Michelle's love for Matt seeped out of that blog post and I ended up sitting on the bed with my Elly for a solid 15 minutes, delaying bedtime, just delighting in her, in those delicious cheeks, in the enormous blue eyes she was batting at me, in the way she holds on to my fingers and sweater and cooed and chirped like a bird, delighted to have extra minutes of my attention rather than be put down for bed. She is breathtaking.

We went shopping, all of us, and as I pushed the cart around Judah stacked up canned goods with running commentary, "Mommy, you see it? Dis a small one, and dis a bigger one. You see it? Ta da!" And at the candy aisle, "Oohh dats so yummy. In my mouth. *to himself* No. Dats not yours." And at checkout he singsonged to himself, "I love you daddy and mommy and baby and Judah. I a stinker. A kinker."

He just is growing up and the thoughts are coming out and vocabulary expanding. And yeah, this whole three years old thing is hard for me, because I'd really love if we could just stop and smell the roses together rather than run in circles screaming and testing every boundary. But then, he's also just delightful, in his discovery of the world around him, his intensity of play, his need to 'nuggle (snuggle) on the couch together after he finishes breakfast.

We left Walmart giggling in amazement that I'd seen a woman actually walk out in her underwear (for reals) and the cashier told us about the one "actually healthy" dating relationship at her high school, and how the guy proposed at prom. We loaded up the car and Isaac and I ran around it, him trying to lock me out and me trying to get in before he managed it, both of us laughing and hey, we've been married eight and a half years and we're still flirting. Only now there's a little boy in the back seat saying, "What you doin mommydaddy? What you doin?"

So, I'm catching a few minutes to smell the roses tonight. We are such a mess. The house is a mess. Our schedule is a mess. We're constantly just treading water, trying to keep this house of littles going and headed towards Indonesia. But look at us. These are the days we will look back to, back to when we were young and our kids were young, to when there were feather soft cheeks to kiss and a little boy talking about when we "go to 'nesia". Sometimes we're just hanging on by our fingernails, but oh, thank you Jesus, for the all of this.

Who needs roses when you have baby cheeks and milk breath? 

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